Christmas in Zombieland
by David N. Brown
Summary: Holiday borderline-fluff... Can Columbus find the perfect present for Krista?  David N. Brown resides in Mesa, Arizona.
1. Christmas baby

**I had a couple Christmas-themed projects in mind, the other being "Exotroopers' Christmas". A computer virus, the Blue Screen of Death and a family medical emergency have kept me from making much progress (though the exotroopers story might still get done by the time the Serbs celebrate Christmas). This story was mostly written by hand in the past day. If I have sufficient time, I will try to type and post the rest in the next day.**

Week 20

Post-apocalyptic Vegas seemed like an unlikely place for holiday festivities. Yet, throughout the city, evidences of Christmas celebrations could be seen. Christmas trees shone behind boarded windows. Santas waved from rooftop snipers' nests. And in the main corridor of Circus Circus, beside a huge, live Christmas tree, Santa listened, and not just to boys and girls.

"What do I want for Christmas? I don't know," Columbus said to Santa. "Look, isn't this kind of silly? Civilization's gone. Anything that hasn't been destroyed is up for grabs."

"Careful," an "elf" in a decidedly short skirt whispered in his ear. "I'm the one who decides whether you go on the `naughty' list."

"Well, really, I've already got most anything I could want. I have a beautiful wife…"

"Good save," whispered Wichita, the "elf".

"…who puts out every night…"

"Oo. True, but you're going to pay for saying it."

"…A sweet sister-in-law…"

"Okay, that gets you a lighter sentence."

"…And a best friend who happens to be the best zombie killer on the continent. How much else do I really need?"

"Austin! I _need_ to give you something, so just put something out there already!"

Tallahassee had no trouble getting into the spirit of things. "Well, Santa, I guess I'm a pretty simple man. Get me a few yards of ammo, maybe a few new guns to shoot it with, and I'll be happy."

"Anything else?" said a second, shorter elf. Tal smiled at Little Rock.

"Well… I hardly ever tell anybody about this… I've driven a lot of cars, most of them dem fine… But the best was one that I only ever got to ride along in: my cousin Nate's royal purple Mk. 3 Shelby Cobra. Most beautiful car I've ever seen, and powerful… I was only 14 when I rode along with him. By the time I was 16, it was either wrecked or sold off, depending on who was telling the story. I always hoped he'd sold it, to someone who could take good care of it. Anyway, for the longest time, what I wanted more than anything was a chance, just once, to drive a Cobra…"

Then it was Little Rock's turn. "Well, I always wanted an electric guitar," she said. "I know I'd prob'ly stink, but I'd still like to try…"

And finally, it was Wichita's turn. "Well, I'd love to see _Breakfast At Tiffany's_ again. When I was young, I mean, really young, it was my favorite movie. My mom had a video that I must have watched a hundred times. I never understood the plot, I suppose not even most of the dialogue, but I thought Hep was beautiful. Even when we didn't have our own TV anymore, I held onto it, and when I couldn't get to a VCR, I would spend hours just looking at her picture on the box… Hell. What I really wanted then, was to _be_ her, to have the jewelry, and that long slinky dress, and those gloves that went up past her elbows… Uhh…" Columbus was standing beside her, listening closely.

Week 22

"So, does everyone have their shopping done?" Little Rock said.

"Like I'd tell you," Columbus said.

"Like I wouldn't know," his sister-in-law retorted. They sat on their beds in their hotel room, where it was indeed difficult to keep anything secret. The only concession to the season was a transparent plastic Christmas tree sculpture that flashed different colors and played music when a button was pushed.

"Don't push that button," Columbus said without looking up from his reading.

"Try and stop me," Little Rock said, but withdrew her hand. Instead, she nettled, "I hope you came up with something better than that stupid old movie."

"Like I'd want to spend my evenings watching a movie where the dramatic climax is a rich brat getting out of a cab to look for her cat," Columbus said.

On the couch, Tallahassee stirred. "For cryin' out loud, the way you bicker, you two could be newlyweds." Columbus and Little Rock glared at each other, a look that became something more mutually disconcerting. Little Rock was first to look away, burying her nose in a music magazine.

"Hi, everyone," Wichita said as she entered. Her husband straightened up. "Well, despite a certain someone's complete lack of cooperation, I have my Christmas shopping done."

"Say, Krista," said Little Rock, "have you told them?" Her sister looked at her in surprise. Little Rock continued, "Her birthday is December 25. Krista's a Christmas baby."

"That's right," Krista said, hurriedly stowing a couple bags. Then she hopped onto the bed beside her husband. "My mom used to say, I was the only Christmas present she ever needed."

"So," Little Rock said, "you're shopping for Christmas and her birthday." Columbus shot out a hand, too late. His sister-in-law shot out her hand, and the tree flashed and blared tinny, taunting strains of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".

Week 23

And now, it was Christmas Eve. The crew were celebrating by singing carols, if frequently with major changes, like the present selection:

"In the city we'll beat to death a zombie

And pretend that he's a circus clown

They'll say, should he be buried?

We'll say, no way

Just leave him till the other zombies come around

Later on, we'll perspire

As we cremate them in a fire

And feast unafraid on reindeer remains

Walking in a winter zombieland..."

:"Well," Little Rock finally said, "I'm getting tired. Why don't we call it a night?"

Beside her, Krista said, "Okay. Sleep well."

"Hey, I was ready a while ago," Tal said, turning his hat down over his head.

Krista looked to her husband on the other bed. He nodded and smiled, and she returned the look with a wicked smirk. He turned out both lamps, leaving her to curl up beside her sister. Furtively, she clasped a tiny teddy bear with a Santa hat.


	2. Christmas morning

**Christmas morning**

Wichita awoke at a touch on her cheek. "Merry Christmas, Krista," Columbus said, "and happy birthday." She shifted, then looked self-consciously at the stuffed animal in her hands. "It's cute," her husband said, and she knew from his tone that it was not the first time he had seen it.

"Time for loot, lazy butt," her sister announced from the foot of the bed. She sat up abruptly. Glancing at the alarm clock, she saw that it was 10:00 AM.

"Okay, I'm up, I'm up," she said, getting unsteadily to her feet. "What's for breakfast?"

"Tal made waffles," Little Rock answered. "We ate 'em all."

"I saved you some," Columbus said.

"Thanks, hon," she said, tottering toward the bathroom. "I'm going to shower..."

"Uh-uh!" said Little Rock. "You kept us waiting all morning already. Time for presents!"

"...After food."

"Oh, all right..."

Columbus sat beside her, watching her, in a way that still sometimes annoyed her, especially at meals, but this morning, she was in high enough spirits to be vaguely pleased. She set down her knife and took his hand. As she finished, Little Rock jabbed her elbow with a package. "C'mon, Krista, open a gift. This one's mine." As she opened it, Little Rock smirked at Columbus. It was, of course, _Breakfast at Tiffany's_.

"Columbus next," Wichita insisted. Little Rock handed him her own gift.

"_National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation,"_ he said darkly. A month earlier, he had admitted to being unnerved by a truck in the film's opening scene.

Tallahassee went next. Little Rock gave him Columbus's gift, then frowned when the package proved to be a very nice, preassembled model of a Shelby Cobra. Still, a look of confidence quickly returned. It was her turn, and she opened Wichita's gift. She was surprised to find a resin horse sculpture. "Thanks," she said, a little hesitantly.

"Why don't you open Tal's gift?" Columbus suggested to Wichita. She nodded and smiled.

His gift to her proved to be a Skorpion machine pistol. "Neat," she said, sounding interested if not thrilled as she tested its weight and balance.

Columbus also accepted Tal's gift. He took one look inside the box, and shut it in a coughing fit. "Uh... looks... interesting," he said. "Um, I'll... look at it later." Wichita glimpsed a knowing look from Tal, and blushed.

Little Rock opened Austin's gift, which she could tell was a book. Prepared to be unimpressed, she instead nodded in somewhat grudging approval. _"Guitar For Beginners."_

Tallahassee opened Wichita's gift, which proved to be a jar of preserved artichoke hearts. "Why don't you guys go first?" Wichita said.

Little Rock went straight for her last gift, opening it eagerly while Tal grinned, only to look at it in confusion. "A kite?" she said, and Tal's smile went subtly rigid.

Columbus slowly, carefully opened Wichita's gift. His eyes widened. "I... wow... I didn't remember telling you about this." It was a translation of Dante's complete _Comedy_, with the complete set of illustrations by Gustave Dore. Wichita beamed as he gently thumbed through the pages.

Tal opened the small box from Little Rock, "Holy- I mean, is this what I think it is?" He held up a set of keys and a business card with the name "Shelby Automobiles, Las Vegas".

"Well, it's more of a loan than a gift," Little Rock said, grinning bashfully. "The keys are for a car in the garage."

Columbus promptly shut the book as his wife took his gift to her. Her hands trembled as she opened the box. It took a moment for her to recognize it, and be sure... "Oh my... oh my..." She wiped tears from her eyes. "Austin... You really shouldn't..."

He gave her a kiss. "You go shower, then put it on," he said.

After half an hour, Wichita emerged. Her dress was long and black. Her hair was tied up in a topknot with a band of jewels, and several necklaces were around her neck, one of real pearls. Silken gloves covered her arms up to past her elbows. "Well," she said with a smile, "what say we hit the town?"


	3. Wish fulfillment

In the street in front of Circus Circus, an engine roared, and then brakes screeched. A deep purple Shelby Cobra turned through a bottleneck of parked cars before speeding up again. "Can't really get up to speed with all these cars," Tallahassee said.

"Maybe not, but this is so fun!" Little Rock said, reaching out to feel the wind between her fingers.

"Better pull back, we got another squeeze coming..."

"I bet Krista's having a great time," Little Rock said. Tal smiled, but the look in his eyes was wistful.

Heads turned as Columbus and Wichita descended the escalators from the promenade to the main corridor. Wichita waved and smiled. Her husband, who wore a suit that the Circus had provided to him for board meetings, just smiled, with frequent glances at his wife. She looked beautiful in the outfit, and indeed she bore a reasonable resemblance to the Hep original. But, he could see cracks forming in her smile. "Let's sit down for a while," he said. "How about lunch at THE Steakhouse?"

THE Steakhouse (caps original) was reckoned the best of the Circus's generally mediocre selection of restaurants. They had only eaten there once before, and it had been expensive; and Wichita would have been happier to stop at Mexitalia on the Promenade, but then, she couldn't be Hep if she stopped for take-out spaghetti, could she? And her Austin looked so woefully awkward in his suit that she felt a yearning to put him back in jeans and give him a beer. But, ever the hero, however reluctant, he was pushing ahead with the show.

There was a smattering of applause as they stepped into the restaurant, and Wichita smiled and waved with renewed enthusiasm. They were fast-tracked for seating, and so they were very shortly at their table, fumbling for small talk. "So, uh, Tal's gift looked nice," Columbus managed. "Uh, your gift, I mean. Uh, it's a good gun. Um. And my gift, uh, well, maybe we should, um, read the manual some time." He fell silent as a gloved hand touched his cheek.

"I love you... so much," Krista said.

Austin had one of his usual "deer in headlights" moments. Then he said in an impressive recovery, "I love you, too."

They split a steak, of no more than fair size and with more than a bit of fat and gristle but worth as much as a goodly number of Wichita's pearls in the post-apocalyptic economy, rationalizing it aloud as romantic. Her gloves proved a little clumsy for the work, so Columbus had to do most of the cutting. About two-thirds of the way through the meal, she intervened, wresting the knife away. "Austin, look, you're cutting right into a tendon, and you should be doing it like-" As she spoke, a glove tore.

There was a moment of silence, that did not break when she pulled off the torn glove. But then she swore explosively as she threw the glove to the floor. She rose to her feet so fast and forcefully her chair rocked back on its hind legs, and with an even louder and fouler curse, she cast down her pearls with enough force to scatter them. Then she stalked swiftly out, or at any rate as swiftly and as close to stalking as she could manage on wobbly stilletto heels.

Austin looked after her, looking very sad but somehow not surprised. Then eyes turned from his departing spouse back to him. "Um. Doggy bag, please?"


	4. Christmas memories

**Not quite the end, but wrapping things up, before things get too cute. A quote is from (the) Sybill, back in "Shoe Shopping".  
**

** Incidentally, I've never seen **_**Breakfast At Tiffany's**_**.**

"Are you sure you've had enough?" Little Rock said as Tal pulled up in front of Circus Circus. He sighed and nodded. Then, as Little Rock stepped out, he saw the group of boys (and a few girls) lining up to look at the car.

"Hey, man," one of the boys called out, "any way I could drive that?"

Tal smiled. "I don't think so... but you can ride."

On the east side of the casino was the KOA campground, where patrons of the casino could pay generously to spend their nights in one of several vintage Airstream trailers (admittedly fitted with DVD players and other non-vintage amenities). It was within one of those trailers that Krista heard her husband's unmistakable, hesitant rapping on the door. "Come in," she almost whimpered.

Austin entered, to find Krista stretched out on a bed, still in her dress, with her mascara badly streaked. She looked at him, and smiled to see him back in his t-shirt and jeans. Their little tree was on the table, and she had the little bear cuddled against one cheek. He sat down, without saying a word. After a long, awkward silence, he said, "We gathered up all your pearls."

"That's good," she rasped, then, after more silence, "Austin... you know that I love that you did this for me. I'm sorry for the way I acted, and I- I'm sorry it didn't work."

"Um... It looks like your mascara is getting on your bear," he said. She looked, and started trying to wipe it off with spit. "Krista... I knew you were going to be disappointed." She stopped and stared at him. "I _do_ pick up quite about people, you know, and this comes down to basics: We build up dreams about what we want, and what we would do if we got it, but we never think about it practically. If we do get it, most of the time, it's a disappointment. I recognized it with you."

"So... why did you do this?"

"Because," he said, "even disappointment can be worth it. And sometimes, there's joy where you weren't expecting it."

She smiled and nodded, wiping her eyes. "It was fun, you know, getting dressed up like this. Even with what happened at THE Steakhouse, I could have just laughed it off. But... I was thinking..." She looked down at the stuffed animal.

"So... who is he?" Austin asked gently.

"I never gave him a name," she said. "I never thought he was real, or pretended he was. But he was a friendly face. I got him on my seventh birthday. It... Before I met my sister, I think it was the happiest day of my life." Austin knew, but never mentioned, that Little Rock was her foster sister, not a sibling by birth.

"It was a gift from my mom... Guess I owe you a story. Mom was a California trust fund baby who ran away with the pool boy. My father died before I was born; at least, that's what she always said. It was only a year before she shacked up with my first stepdad. I think she really liked him, and he was okay. They stayed together till I was six and a half. She got a Nissan in the divorce, and enough money to buy a TV-VCR and a travel trailer... Not like this, oh no; even the original furnishings in here would have been better than we could have afforded. We went on a road trip to Playland when I was about to turn seven, and on the way back, we bought a cheesy little tree and a box of plastic ornaments, and she gave me this bear. Back then, it was going to be just her and me, going wherever fate and funds would take us. And wherever we were, whatever it cost us, we would always have Christmas, and she would always have a present for me. And I would never have to worry about her, because I was already the best Christmas present she could ask for.

"She tried, you know, really hard. The first year went great; she was getting money every month from my great-grandparents, and staying in the same places long enough to get some work and have me go to school. She would find little things to do for me, especially renting movies. That was when I saw _Breakfast At Tiffany's_, at least five times before she finally bought it. By my eighth birthday, it seemed like things were costing more, but we were still doing okay. But then there were a few months the money came late, and once it didn't come at all. When I was nine, mom had an accident, and to pay for repairs to the car, she sold the trailer. Then she had to spend anything she got just to keep a roof over our heads. She held onto the TV longer than she should have, and I kept watching that movie and talking about how some day, I would be as beautiful and rich as Hep. She had to go into debt, and then she got into men. She wasn't, you know... doing _that _for the money, but she would throw herself at any man who was willing to share the wealth. Just before I turned ten, she married another guy, Chinese or something, he was in the tech business, looking for a green card. My great-grandparents threatened to cut her off, but she figured he would have money to spare. Then his company went bust. She had to sell the car just to pay off money _he_ owed, and she sold the TV for bus fare to an aunt's house in Lawrence, Kansas.

"We had a new start there, me and her together again, only now we had an aunt and two cousins to stay with. My 11th birthday was almost too good; I don't think there were more than ten of us, but to me it seemed scary crowded. But then Mom started meeting guys again, and the one she liked best was the one who scared my aunt. One day, she picked me up at school in a rental car with what stuff we had in the back, and said we had to go. I never knew what happened, but we drove all the way to Nebraska, and we never saw her aunt or the guy again. She went through several guys, and they just kept getting worse. Right before my 13th birthday, we went to California again, in somebody else's car, and when the car was dropped off, we went to the Playland. She had a crazy wad of cash, and we did_ everything_, without putting a dent in it. Then we flew back to Kansas, and celebrated my birthday at a motel. She got me a beautiful sweater, and we watched that video again. I went to sleep, and in the morning... I was alone. I waited in the room till New Year's- she'd paid in advance, in cash, and still not gone through half the money- but she never came back."

Austin opened his mouth, but she waved him to silence. "Don't say it, Austin. I know she's gone. She's been gone a long time, probably since before I left that motel. All that money, however she got it, it wasn't good, and there's all kinds of ways she could have paid for it. I keep thinking, one way or another, it was for me- not to give me what I really needed, but my Hep dreams. And now I know, none of it could ever mean as much to me as this silly, cheap bear, and it only means anything because she gave it to me!"

Her husband put an arm around her. "Krista... Before I met you, there was one woman I met that I think I could have cared about as much as you. The last thing she said to me, the last thing she _ever_ said, was, `What you will learn, those you love already knew, and those you wish you could ask for forgiveness, already gave it.' I finally started to understand, when I met you." They embraced, and then kissed, and then she squealed as her bear "jumped" onto her head.

"As long as we're here..." Austin said. Krista smiled wickedly, then gave a groaning guffaw as he held up the _Breakfast At Tiffany's_ DVD. "Want to watch a movie?"


	5. Starting over

The sun was low in the sky before Tallahassee finally called an end to the rides. Even then, there was a delight in his eyes that had been absent while he had been living his dream only for himself. As he prepared to drive the car back to the garage, his gaze lit on a boy (and a girl with him) who had stood by to watch long after his chance to ride had gone, and still lingered to watch the car depart. "Hey, kid," Tal said, "can you drive?"

"You bet!" he said. "I drove here from Reno! I had a learner's permit."

"Okay, then. You can park this thing in the garage, and if you put a little extra mileage on without putting any dings in the paint, no harm, no foul." The boy's face lit up, and as Tal walked away, his face was no less bright.

Abs was waiting in the corridor, trying out chords from Columbus's book on a street performer's guitar. At Tal's approach, she returned the instrument, picked up the book and ran to him.

"Yoo-hoo," Tal said as he opened the room door, "if anything's going on in here, this is your last chance to say so... Huh. Guess they're still out."

There was a message on their phone, which proved to be from Wichita. "Hey Tal, Sis... Columbus and I decided you two could do with a little more space, so we found another place to spend the night. See you in the morning..." The message ended with a giggle, and a snatch of "Moon River". Little Rock rolled her eyes. Then her gaze lit on the model horse her sister had given her.

"You know," she said, picking it up, "I was just remembering, Wichita used to read to me, and a couple of my favorite books were about a white horse and a brown colt with a white mark like a star on his forehead, living wild on a little island..." She stroked the mane.

Austin and Krista watched _Breakfast At Tiffany's_ with frequent bouts of laughter. She, still in her costume, frequently imitated Hep, bringing even louder laughs from her husband. In many ways, she enjoyed the movie more than she ever had as an entranced little girl.

Of course, they made love when it was over. They both would remember it as one of their best times together, and she always believed that they conceived their first child that night. Early in the morning, she woke, with a strange but not wholly unpleasant tightness in her belly. She left her husband with a parting kiss, and got dressed, in her shirt and jeans. She paused a moment to pick up her bear, and smiled. Then she stepped outside to watch the sunrise.

Against the colors of the rising sun, a large red kite was flying.


End file.
